Ever since the COVID pandemic struck in 2020, more and more Americans are reporting to feel dissatisfied with their lives. According to a poll by Gallup, the percentage of Americans feeling very satisfied with their lives has dropped from 51% in 2021 to 47% in 2024.
Plenty of factors contribute to the American unhappiness crisis, meaning overcoming unhappiness will vary from person to person. Reaching happiness isn’t as easy as it sounds; it takes months and years of self-discovery, with setbacks bound to occur. However, these setbacks are necessary as they serve as learning points that guide us toward happiness. Just as we can’t learn without failing, we can’t experience fulfillment without facing anger, sadness, and fear.
Unhappiness helps us identify the areas we need to improve to live a happy and fulfilling life. Here are nine common causes of lacking happiness:
1. Lack of content/gratitude
Like a mouse following a cheese trail, its hunger for more will hypnotize it into a trap that lies ahead. Similarly, finding happiness becomes impossible when we are constantly chasing after more material possessions. Pursuing more provides only a temporary illusion of happiness. Once we receive more, that temporary feeling of satisfaction slowly fades, as we become bored and believe another dollar or car will keep us satisfied, and thus repeating this cycle.
Many would argue that achieving more is necessary and the key to success. For instance, a person making more money or a sports team winning more championships is a reflection of their success. However, lacking content will keep us trapped in a cycle of wanting more, preventing us from reaching fulfillment.
2. Living for others
Think about the school you attend, your career, your goals, and your passion. Were these areas identified based on personal desire or pressure friends and family?
Decisions regarding epicenters of our lives, such as career and goals, are shaped by others rather than personal desires more than we think. Instead of living according to what is best for us, we shape our lives based on the expectations and images that others have imposed on us. As a result, we tragically commit years of our lives to strive for a destination that never made us fulfilled in the first place.
By dedicating our minds, time, and resources to meeting the expectations of our parents or peers, we might never take the time to discover our passions and dreams. Everyone has a career or goal that brings them happiness. Allowing others to influence our aspirations can leave us empty and dissatisfied because we aren’t making choices we’re genuinely keen on.
3. Pursuit of short-term pleasure
Drugs, parties, social media, and junk food are not pathways to true happiness; they’re salt in the disguise of sugar. Constantly chasing these pleasures tricks us into believing we’re happy when, in reality, we’re sacrificing long-term fulfillment for short-lived gratification that makes us feel worse about ourselves afterward.
Life is all about responsibilities. As we age and mature, the number of responsibilities we need to handle increases. By prioritizing pleasure over purpose, we delay the time we could have spent addressing our long list of tasks. As a result, we create more problems for ourselves, and our happiness suffers due to the stress and worry we subject ourselves to.
4. Lack of forgiveness
During seasons of trials, tribulations, and conflicts, the hardest part may not be facing the challenges themselves but initiating the process of forgiveness instead. Refusing to forgive, whether towards ourselves or others, often stems from pride and the fear of taking accountability for our actions. However, the more we refuse to forgive, the more arduous weight we put on our shoulders.
Perhaps we may not realize that forgiveness is the secret antidote to the problems we’ve been facing for so long. Once we take the initiative to forgive, the weight of unhappiness that has burdened us for the longest time is lifted off our shoulders, allowing us to heal and live prosperously ever after.
5. Lack of self-care
Many of us are guilty of prioritizing others above ourselves. Instead of prioritizing our well-being, we focus on their needs, happiness, and desires. While showing affection and care towards others is heartening, there must be a healthy balance between caring for others and ourselves. Failing to dedicate time to self-care will result in burnout, stress, and fatigue, ultimately derailing our happiness.
Dedicating time to self-care may be perceived as selfish; however, it isn’t, as it allows us to become healthier individuals who can provide better help to others. Without self-care, we lack the necessary time for rest, leisure, and pursuing our goals. Consequently, we experience burnout and stress that derail our happiness.
6. Living in the past and future
The past is a realm where our regrets and mistakes bring remorse. The future is a place of worries and concerns that deliver anxiety. The present, however, is a magical place where regrets and worries are nowhere to be seen. By spending more time in the present, we experience the beauty of life as it unfolds before our eyes, without fear of what’s coming up or shame from past failures.
Time is constantly moving; thus, any wasted time is time we will never get back. Life is too short to keep living in regret and worrying about things we can’t change. To make the most out of life, we must cultivate happiness by shedding the weight of past failures and focusing on the present rather than the future.
7. Prioritizing money above all else
“For the love of money is the root of all evil: which while some coveted after, they have erred from the faith, and pierced themselves through with many sorrows.”
– 1 Timothy 6:10 (ESV)
A study conducted by Harvard Business School found that millionaires are generally very happy, especially if they earned their wealth rather than inheriting it.
Money brings security, stability, and freedom, but does it bring happiness? To answer this question, we need to recognize that there are sources of joy beyond money, such as hobbies, friendships, and personal growth. When we make money the center of our lives, we may miss out on valuable opportunities to spend time with loved ones and engage in activities we enjoy. As a result, our happiness can suffer as our lives become focused on the pursuit of wealth rather than on creating meaningful and fulfilling experiences.
Money is a commodity that comes and goes, but wanting more is hard to resist. It’s just like drinking water; when will we know how much is enough? However, the lack of contentment associated with money will take a toll on our happiness and mental well-being because we’ll constantly be wanting more rather than being satisfied with what we have now. If we aren’t careful, we’ll become slaves to money, desiring more at the expense of our time, relationships, and vitality.
8. Toxic social circle
A water droplet that falls into a large body of water, such as an ocean or sea, becomes a part of it. Similarly, we will become the same as our friend group when we join them in their practices. By surrounding ourselves with directionless friends, we also will become directionless. On the other hand, if we surround ourselves with purpose-driven friends, we will also be fueled by our purpose.
The feeling of lacking happiness is primarily internal. However, external factors, such as our friend group, play a significant role in our emotional state. Clinging onto people who aren’t meant to be in our lives suppresses our happiness. Instead of being surrounded by love and support, we find ourselves in an environment of hate, gossip, and disparagement.
For ways to identify a fake friend, read here.
9. Spreading hate
The ethics of reciprocity, also known as the golden rule, is the principle of treating others how we wish to be treated. The energy we bring into the world is contagious, meaning whatever energy we put out determines the energy we receive in return. The more negativity we bring out, the more negativity we will also bring in.
Spreading negativity attracts negative attention and pushes close ones away, leading to isolation. This isolation, combined with a surge in negativity, takes a tremendous toll on our mental health over time. By being the source of negativity, experiencing happiness becomes impossible because our actions and beliefs don’t reflect a happy lifestyle. The negative energy we emit creates a hostile environment that prevents us from appreciating the positive aspects of life.
Conclusion
In conclusion, the cause of unhappiness varies from person to person, as we all face different challenges, wants, and needs. While some people’s unhappiness stems from a lack of contentment and the constant pursuit of material gain, others continue to hold onto regrets that weigh them down emotionally. Understanding these varied sources of unhappiness is crucial for finding ways to address and overcome them, paving the way for true contentment and well-being.
As we grow older, the fewer people we have that tend to check in on us. Our parents won’t always be readily available, and friends take on more responsibilities. In light of this, we must take a step back and take stock of our mental and emotional well-being. By understanding these nine common causes of unhappiness, we can take steps to transform our misery into prosperity.
What are some other causes that lead to unhappiness?
