According to the American Psychological Association, about 50% of marriages will end in divorce. That being said, how do you make a long-term relationship last?
With divorce rates and infidelity rates rising, it seems as if long-term relationships are a thing of the past. There will eventually be a time when we want to settle down, stop moving from one person to the next, and live the rest of our lives with that perfect soul mate.
In movies and those around us, we hear people being with their spouse for five years, ten years, and even some lasting more than twenty years. Making a relationship sounds counterintuitive—love your partner and don’t cheat, but this is easier said than done.
A common cause for relationship failure is lack of maturity. A senior in high school has a different objective for a relationship compared to an adult in their 30s. Why? It’s because of their difference in levels of maturity. Based on what society has institutionalized, the younger you are, the more partners it’s believed you should sleep with. The older you are, the more you should prepare to start a family.
In this article, we break down eight tips on how to make a relationship last forever.
1. Beware of red flags
And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand.
– Matthew 7:26
A house built on a weak foundation is more than likely to fall. The same applies to the foundation on which we build our relationship. The qualities and characteristics of our partners serve as the foundation; we can either continue building or move on to find a better foundation.
What someone does on a day-to-day basis says a lot about them. If someone is more concerned with partying, drinking, and hooking up regularly, chances are they aren’t ready to be in a long-term relationship. Rather than make the relationship a priority, they’re deciding to prioritize their fun. The earlier you spot these red flags, the more heartbreaks you save yourself from.
2. Avoid holding onto secrets
If you plan to spend the rest of your life with someone, there should be no reason to hold onto secrets. Sheri Stritof from Verywellmind said best, “Withholding facts or information your spouse needs to know in decision-making is harmful manipulation.”
Holding onto secrets conveys dishonesty, the first domino leading to the collapse of any relationship. Dishonesty makes a relationship ten times more likely to fail because of the lack of trust between you and your partner. When trust is missing, it makes it harder to establish a bond and deep connection.
3. Give your partner time and space to do what they love
Your spouse should be caring while giving you the space to do what you love. The relationship is a priority, but so are you. A relationship requires team effort where both partners are working together. There shouldn’t be one person with more power than the other; therefore, you should never feel trapped in a relationship.
A partner who is overly strict and aggressive on what you can and can’t do indicates that they’ll likely manipulate and control you. If you wish to get coffee with friends, you should convey that to your partner, but they shouldn’t force you out of it.
4. Find an effective way to communicate
In a relationship, you should never feel afraid to express your feelings because of fear of how your partner will react. Establishing an effective mode of communication, including texts, phone calls, and verbal conversations, is crucial because it allows both partners to be in touch.
Communication is the ultimate way to resolve problems in a relationship by allowing both partners to get their point across. Effective communication also includes being an active listener, which is another important aspect as it promotes better cooperation between both partners when resolving conflicts.
5. Don’t be quick to make assumptions
Being quick to make assumptions about your partner about what they’re doing won’t cultivate a healthy long-term relationship because it conveys a lack of trust. Instead of promoting connectivity, you’ll be promoting toxicity.
Furthermore, false assumptions will make your partner feel unsafe and controlled. These assumptions serve as the breeding ground for manipulation and guilt-tripping, which promotes hate rather than love.
6. Encourage you and your partner to continue growing
Many people live in comfort after settling into a relationship, which isn’t ideal because of the continued growth you’re missing out on. They stop going to the gym and working on their goals because they get too comfortable. Just because you’re now in a relationship doesn’t mean growth stops.
The growth you experience together produces a deeper bond, which helps cultivate a healthy long-term relationship. When you inspire each other to grow, not only do you achieve success together, but you also experience the value of having each other.
Here are some habits you can do together to grow together.
7. Be their #1 supporter
We all appreciate someone who believes in us no matter what. Even when we don’t believe in ourselves, this person continues to believe in us. While LeBron James is having a successful career in the NBA, he’s also having a successful marriage. His wife, Savannah, is responsible for their successful marriage because she’s been supporting his basketball journey since day one.
Real love is attainable once we’ve put all materialism aside and love our partners for who they are. If your partner has goals they wish to achieve, help them reach these milestones. Nothing beats your love for someone, even when they aren’t where they want to be. When you support each other, you grow together.
8. Respect each other’s schedule
Someone who appreciates you would also respect your busy schedule—especially in younger couples who aren’t living in the same home because of the physical distance between both.
