Have you ever had a friend that made you question why you’re still talking to them? Maybe you’ve known them for some time, but you feel hatred brewing whenever you hang out with them. In the blink of an eye, your closest friends can become your worst enemy. Spotting fake friends early on can help you avoid this headache.
We all strive to live memorably by hanging out with those who mean the most to us. Going through life isn’t a single mission but rather a team effort. We rely on and help each other to reach the desired destination. Nevertheless, there are people we should keep in our lives, while some are unworthy of our attention.
Fake friends are like cancer; the earlier you spot them, the more your future self thanks you. You save yourself from unearned guilt, stress, fear, and disappointment in the future. Companionship is as important as success, but how do you know if someone is worth hanging out with?
Identifying salt from sugar isn’t easy, but in this article, here are ways to spot fake friends.
1. Using you for their benefit
Do you notice yourself mainly being the one driving and paying? If so, this indicates your friends have used you for your money, time, energy, and possessions. These people don’t respect you; they see you as an ATM or taxi driver. They’re more concerned with fulfilling their desires than hanging out with you.
A good friend is someone who disregards money or driving and instead prioritizes spending quality time with you. Deciding who should pay or drive shouldn’t even be a question. If your friends never offer to pay or drive even though they are in a stable position, they don’t respect you.
If you ever kindly asked them to cover, but they grew overly defensive, that’s a clear sign you should stop investing more time with them. They might even start bringing up the previous times they paid or drove.
2. Peer pressure
A good friend is someone who respects you and your decisions. They care about you physically and emotionally, so they wouldn’t push you into doing something you find uncomfortable.
Fake friends are people who lack respect for you and your overall well-being. They’ll continue to use every manipulative tactic they know to pressure you into doing something that’s against your values.
Peer pressure is popular because your friends hate being the only ones feeling terrible about themselves. If your friends are blowing out their brains with alcohol, they want you to do the same. It’s a natural human instinct to hate those doing better than us. As a result, your friends will pressure you to smoke, drink, or do drugs because they’re insecure about you making a better decision.
3. Lack of interest in hearing about your success
Life is hard; therefore, we love and cherish those that support us. A bad friend is someone who does the opposite. Instead of offering support and congratulations, they view your achievements as insignificant and may even try to undermine your success.
“Make sure you cut the grass low so the snakes show.”
– Banky W.
Sherri Gordon from Verywellfamily wrote, “Jealousy, while a normal feeling, can lead to bullying if it is not handled in a healthy way.”
A friend who disregards your accomplishments reveals their jealousy and a lack of appreciation for you. They’d much rather hear about your failures because they hate hearing you doing better than them. They might even compare their success to yours, hoping to make you feel bad and knock you off that success path.
4. Rude/Impolite towards others
By surrounding yourself with people who are rude towards others, especially customer service workers, you surround yourself with toxicity. Even though you aren’t the one projecting negative behaviors, you associate yourself with a rude friend.
Additionally, if they mistreat others, what makes you think they won’t mistreat you? We’re all humans heavily motivated by habit. If we have a habit of chewing out people for a simple mistake, we’re likely to do the same to our friends.
5. There’s always drama/gossiping
Neverending drama and gossip are clear indicators of toxicity within a relationship. A friend who consistently talks down on others will talk poorly about you when you’re not around. We love judging others but hate when we’re at the center of judgment and gossip.
Drama and gossip wouldn’t cultivate a healthy friendship because of constant bitterness and negativity in the atmosphere. Not only does drama place a toll on your mental health, but it also establishes an unstable foundation for building your friendship. As a result, the likelihood of the relationship collapsing is more likely than anyone winning the Powerball.
6. They guilt trip you when you say “no”
As mentioned, a good friend respects you and your decisions. Fake friends wouldn’t pressure you into doing something you’re uncomfortable with.
If you firmly say “no,” but they continuously question and try to talk you out of it, this clearly shows their lack of respect toward you. They may even try guilt-tripping you, which occurs when they persuade you to do or believe something by making you feel at fault. It’s a form of manipulation common in friendships and intimate relationships today.
We all live a busy life with school, work, and family. A friend might try to guilt-trip you into doing something you aren’t comfortable with by explaining that you’ll be missing out. They may even refer to the past when they did a favor for you.
7. They aren’t on the same page as you
In the Bible, Jesus surrounded himself with 12 disciples who believed in preaching the word of God. If Jesus were to surround himself with those who reject his word, the duration of his legacy would be much shorter.
The same applies to the friends we surround ourselves with. If you wish to become a better version of yourself, but your friends are against it, that’s a sign you should distance yourself from them. Continuing to hang out with friends whose goals don’t align with yours is an unnecessary burden weighing you down.
If you ever offered to go to the gym or study together, but they refused, this indicates their lack of ambition to do better. They may have even tried dragging you down by convincing you to engage in unworthy activities, such as partying or smoking.
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8. Failing to check up on you
A good friend checks up on you to see how you’re doing whenever possible. We all live busy lives, but this friend never leaves your side. As Patrick never left Spongebob, a good friend will always be there for you.
A fake friend only checks up on you when they want to hang out for their benefit. For example, they don’t want to be the only one feeling guilty of killing their health, so they would ask you to come with them to smoke, drink, or party. Having a good group of friends means uplifting each other to do and feel better, not pushing each other further down a rabbit hole.
