Becoming a disgrace to manhood is easier than ever in today’s society, yet true masculinity is what the world needs. Strong men build strong families and communities, while weak men create havoc and destruction. So, why is the world facing a masculinity crisis, and how can we resolve it?
With more boys raised by single mothers, many struggle to develop into masculine men without a strong father figure to guide them. Even when a father is present, if he lacks masculinity, his son is left without a clear path to follow. Maybe you find yourself in the same situation—growing up without an accurate masculine role model and now questioning what it truly means to be a man.
If you’ve ever felt lost in your journey to manhood, look no further. In this article, we’ll expose what it means to be a disgrace to manhood, debunk common myths about masculinity, and reveal the key steps to embracing your masculine identity.
Let’s dive right in.
What does “disgrace to manhood” mean?
To understand what it means to be a “disgrace to manhood,” we must first define masculinity and what it truly means to be a man. Many cultures and regions worldwide all have their definition of masculinity, making it challenging to boil it down to one.
Some cultures associate masculinity with strength and dominance, while others emphasize emotional vulnerability and gender equality. Despite these differences, the similarities between these definitions include discipline, responsibility, and resilience.
With that in mind, a “disgrace to manhood” would be the complete opposite of these masculine principles. Someone who lacks discipline and avoids responsibility crumbles under pressure and fails to uphold the values of manhood. You might even argue that a man who does not embody these values is not truly a man at all—but rather a boy who refuses to grow.
Traits and behaviors that are a disgrace to manhood
Aside from lack of discipline, responsibility, and resilience, here are other traits of someone being a disgrace to manhood:
- Lack of emotional intelligence: rather than control and express their emotions safely, they react emotionally, often putting themselves and others in danger.
- Lack of mental toughness: they shy away from challenges and remain in their comfort zone instead of embracing hardship as opportunities for growth.
- Disrespectful towards others: They command respect even though they don’t deserve it by manipulating, lying, or controlling others.
- Lack of ambition: They are goal-oriented and purpose-driven, causing them to sit around and waste time.
- Victim mentality: they blame others and their environment for their lack of success.
How to avoid becoming a disgrace to manhood
Not becoming a disgrace to manhood is about embracing the core values of true masculinity. Qualities like responsibility, discipline, courage, and resilience form the backbone of what it means to be a masculine man. By living according to these principles, you uplift yourself and those around you.
While living to these values, it is also essential to recognize and steer clear of traits associated with toxic masculinity. Strength and confidence are crucial but should never manifest as violence, uncontrolled aggression, or arrogance. These qualities do not define true masculinity—they weaken it and contribute to the stigma of disgrace to manhood.
Here’s what you need to focus on:
1. Be a man of your word
A boy’s journey to manhood is like a caterpillar’s transformation into a butterfly. He may feel weak, fragile, uncertain, and directionless. But as he matures, he gains the strength and confidence to soar to new heights he never thought were possible.
Maturity is a slow and deliberate process shaped by the words a boy speaks to himself. What he commits to for himself and others defines the person he is. A man who makes promises but fails to keep them is not truly a man.
The path to manhood begins with integrity. Keep your word, take responsibility for your actions, and never blame others for your misfortune.
2. Discover your purpose
A man without a purpose is like a caterpillar that never becomes a butterfly. He remains stuck in place, never living up to his true purpose. Instead of growing and reaching milestones that fill him with pride, he stays stagnant, unaware of the potential he has within him.
Purpose not only gives a man direction but also shapes his habits, mindset, and daily actions. The way he moves, thinks, and spends his time is a direct reflection of his purpose.
Without it, a man drifts through life without ambition, failing to ever evolve. Growth defines manhood, and without a purpose, he becomes complacent, preventing him from reaching success.
Finding your purpose takes time and self-reflection—it won’t happen overnight. Start by looking back at your childhood, recalling what brought you joy, and considering what you would pursue if money weren’t a concern.
3. Develop self-respect
In today’s society, respect is often one-sided. Most people find it easier to respect others more than they respect themself. While showing respect to those around us is crucial, failing to extend that respect inward can lead to self-neglect and poor decision-making.
When a man lacks self-respect, he allows others to take advantage of him, disregards his well-being, and compromises his values. True manhood requires self-respect; it sets the standard for how others treat you and reinforces your worth. A man who does not respect himself weakens his presence in the world, allowing others to walk over him rather than standing firm in his identity.
Building self-respect is deeply connected to self-love. To cultivate it, you must first do the inner work of valuing yourself. Start by acknowledging what you love about yourself, setting meaningful goals, and establishing boundaries that protect your time, energy, and dignity.
4. Build self-discipline
When we make a decision, we act either on discipline or emotion. When we act on emotion, our choices reflect how we feel at the moment. For example, we might watch a movie when we are happy or isolate ourselves when we are sad. On the other hand, discipline leads us to act based on responsibility, not feelings. For example, having to go to work or study for exams on days when we would much rather sleep in.
Manhood is built on discipline. A man’s strength lies in making decisions based on what is necessary rather than fun. Without discipline, a man becomes weak, allowing his desires and emotions to control him rather than mastering himself.
Discipline applies to every aspect of life—fitness, finances, relationships, and personal growth. It cannot be developed overnight, but by starting with small, intentional steps, you become more disciplined to practice these habits daily.
5. Master emotional intelligence
A 2022 CDC study found that men are four times more likely to die by suicide than women.
A man’s ability to manage, adapt to, and regulate his emotions is not just important; it is essential. With all the responsibilities, stress, and challenges that come with life, emotional intelligence is crucial in navigating through them. While a man may not always control the obstacles he faces, he can control his response, which is the core of stoicism.
A lack of emotional intelligence can be dangerous and not in a good way. Many of the mass atrocities we see today, from school shootings to acts of extreme violence, stem from an inability to process emotions healthily.
The first step to developing emotional intelligence is deepening self-awareness. One of the most effective ways to start is by building a meditation habit. Meditation grounds you in the present moment and helps you become more attuned to your emotions, allowing you to respond to challenges with clarity and control.
6. Be accountable
A man wouldn’t be who he is today without accountability. Every success and failure he has experienced is a result of his actions. He can blame others for as long as he wants, but the only obstacle separating him from his goals is himself.
A man who lacks accountability shifts blame onto others and also forces them to carry his responsibilities. This lack of ownership makes it difficult for others to trust or rely on him.
Developing accountability starts from within. It begins with recognizing your responsibilities, understanding your role, and setting clear goals. Only by taking full ownership of your actions can you truly take control of your future.
Conclusion
A man wouldn’t be who he is today without the masculine traits he embodies. True masculinity is the complete opposite of toxic masculinity, which consists of violence and aggression. Instead, a real man upholds respect, discipline, and emotional intelligence. These traits distinguish boys from men and embody true manhood.
These qualities aren’t granted overnight; they must be cultivated through effort and self-awareness. As more men embrace the true essence of masculinity, the world gains more supportive, loving, and caring individuals.
